Let me be honest here - fantasy isn't really my thing; I love aliens and spaceships and time travel but show me a drawf or a goblin or a Warhammer set and it leaves me cold. I know this doesn't make sense and that Star Wars is as much fantasy as sci-fi, but that's just how it is. So I come back to Middle Earth with no great excitement or expectation. Sure, I enjoyed The Lord of the Rings movies well enough but I care little about hobbits and orcs. For fans of such fare I'm sure The Hobbit Part One will blow their socks off with its mix of comical dwarves, cameos by characters from the original trilogy and CGI battles. For me, however, this movie fast became a bit of a chore despite a charming lead turn from Martin Freeman as the titular hero.
You probably know it but here's a quick synopsis: gentle hobbit Bilbo Baggins (Freeman) is chosen by wizard Gandalf (Sir Ian McKellan) to accompany 13 dwarves to help reclaim their kingdom from Smaug the dragon. The dwarves are led by Thorin Oakenshield (Spooks' Richard Armitage) and have some familar faces such as James Nesbitt and Ken Stott hidden under layers of latex and wigs. The dwarves don't understand why Gandalf has picked a hobbit, with no lust for fighting or adventure, to join their quest but the plucky little fella starts to win them over. Soon the group are off but have to face many dangers on their journey, including goblins, trolls and orcs. Bilbo also comes across a certain ring loving creature called Gollum...
In many ways this is similar to Lord of the Rings: the director, writers and crew are mostly the same with Howard Shore's distinctive music overlaid. We see many of Middle Earth's greatest hits again, such as the Shire and the Elf Kingdom and all the various races are present and correct. The CGI, while never convincing for a second, recreates epic vistas, underground cities and giant beasties and the camera soars and swoops over castles and crevices and mountains. There are some excellent setpieces, such as the dragon attack on the dwarf city and a fight between our heroes and hordes of goblins that makes up the last third of the film. McKellan eases back comfortably as Gandalf, the ten years quickly forgotten, while Armitage is fine as Thorin, stepping into the intense, brooding role vacated by Viggo Mortenson. The rest of the dwarves make little impression with them being very one note characters - fat one, Irish one, young one, archer one, etc. As Bilbo, Freeman is great, if a little reminiscent of his bemused Office character Tim, looking askew at Thorin and Gandalf as if they're David Brent and Gareth at times. He is a highly likeable actor, however, which is important as we spend a lot of time in his company.
No amount of effects and nice performances can hide, however, that a small children's book has been stretched past breaking point to make three lengthy movies. That the Hobbit can be a trilogy like the Rings is a move that makes no sense other than the purely, cynically financial. There's hardly enough material for one movie let alone three and, inevitably, the Hobbit Part One is slow, bloated and filled with sections designed to fill up time. While we should be experiencing the dwarves' quest we are instead stuck with Sylvester McCoy's daft magician, head covered in bird poop and racing around on a sled pulled by rabbits. Utter bollocks. Worse, the old cast from LOTR are dragged on for long pointless scenes which advance the plot not one iota. Yes, if you're a fan I'm sure it's nice to see Cate Blanchett, Hugo Weaving, Elijah Wood, Ian Holm and Christopher Lee again (although you watch Lee's still form in dread hoping he hasn't died between takes) but it makes the Hobbit sooo boring. It's as if they're stuck the extended cut DVD (you know, the one the diehards shell out for which have all the extra scenes deemed not good enough for the film and which is usually really plodding) by mistake. The Hobbit should be lean, fun and scary not bloated and leisurely.
It does improve as it goes on, the endless slapstick of the dwarves at supper giving way to a more visually interesting film. If it had had an hour lopped out of it, the first Hobbit could even have been a very good film, leading us from exciting setpiece to setpiece until the Goblin caves. Too much filler, however, had tested my patience by then and I just wanted the film to end. Tonally The Hobbit goes very dark too, something the parents should think about before taking the very young. Gollum especially is very scary and, with ten years more CGI advancement, much more realistic. Andy Serkis remains the best actor in the franchise, his Gollum leaping around and being both cute and terrifying at the same time. The scene he shares with Freeman in the caves is the best in the whole film. In the final analysis however, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey may make a ton of cash but the desire to milk every last coin out of the concept has fundamentally undermined its quality. It's like that party you go to, that turns out to be a bit dull but that you can't sneak away from. A shame.
GK Rating: *** The Blog of Delights
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