Though expectations of what a Die Hard movie will deliver have lowered considerably following each instalment, the sheer mediocrity of Die Hard 5 still comes as quite a shock. With little charm, internal logic or originality, the film is a noisy, relentless experience with each explosion trying to top the last one while Bruce goes through the motions, looking bored - as were much of the audience. Little of the ingredients that made the original Die Hard one of the best action movies ever remain. This is souless and pointless - the kind of movie starring Steven Seagal or Wesley Snipes that Morrisons sell for three quid.
This time Detective John McClane (Bruce Willis looking properly old for the first time ever) is in Moscow. He's there because his estranged son Jack (Jai Courtney) is facing trial for a list of crimes. But Jack actually works for the CIA and he's got himself arrested to get close to and rescue scientist Komarov (Sebastian Koch) who has a file that can implicate a crooked possible future Russian premier. Bruce gets in the way, messing up the extraction and soon McClane and son on their own, bickering and bonding while destroying half of Moscow. After yet another repetitive CGI afflicted action scene, the pair end up in Chernobyl to stop the nefarious baddies from nipping off with some uranium - yes, Die Hard seems to have become a Brosnan Bond movie.
As directed by hack John Moore (no-one will ever utter the words 'by the visionary director of Max Payne', will they?), Die Hard 5 is a joyless experience. Moore has an annoying fascination with both slow motion and with shaky camera movement which, though not as bad as Taken 2, still means the action can be difficult to follow. If, however, you like your action destructive then this is for you, as one chase along Moscow's ring roads causes more carnage than I've ever seen with vans and a mobile truck/tank thingy ploughing through cars, walls and overpasses. The thing is there's only so many times you can see a van smack into another car before you get a little jaded but Moore doesn't know when to stop and the sequences go on and on, smashing and crashing and smashing and crashing... The same goes for the gunplay. There's no sense of one man against a horde here (Willis mostly just had his service revolver or a machine gun in 1 to 4) with Bruce tooled up with a bunch of over the top weaponry which even the Terminator might consider overkill. While McClane used guile in Die Hard, here he mostly just smirks, frowns and shoots endless heavies with machine guns. What fun.
Part of Die Hard's appeal was in its characterisation, from the hero and villain, down to the supporting characters and even the minor henchmen. We love Die Hard because of Argyle as much as Hans Gruber but Die Hard 5 has little of this. A singing taxi driver near the start bodes well but he is never seen again and villain Amik, who performs a little tap dance at one stage is vaguely promising but, in another deviation from the reliable formula, this movie has twist after double cross meaning we're never sure who the villain is and therefore no time for Willis to establish the 'cat and mouse' element that works so well. There's an army of faceless goons with the token nutty female played by Yuliya Sniqir and all are instantly forgetable. Jai Courtney has presence and you can imagine him being McClane's son but, like Mutt Jones before him, the film can't decide whether it's setting Junior up to take over the franchise or to act as sidekick. As a character there's not much to Jack McClane other than he can run and shoot. Much is made of the rift between father and son and this is played quite well early on but, as the bullets fly, they bond pretty quickly and are best buds by the end. The fish out of water element of the all American McClane stuck in Russia is also quickly dispensed with, rendering the setting irrelevant. The only real attempt to offer something other than explosions is in a couple of scenes where McClane admits to his failings as a dad. While this taps into why we love McClane - he is a hero and a jerk - the writing is too predictable and sappy.
The film sets up a ridiculous finale in Chernobyl, where apparently spraying some industrial strength deoderant stuff can neutralise decades of radioactivity. There's more shooting and shouting and some ridiculous CGI stunts that make it all look like a level from a computer game. By this time I was frankly past caring and, worse, knew exactly what was going to happen as the trailer had shown pretty much the entirely of the last five minutes. It's a sad state of affairs when someone who loves the Die Hard brand as much as I do was relieved that it was finally all over. By the way, the trailer spoils the last line too.
Die Hard 5 is not a patch on the great Die Hard and falls some way short of even the weaker 2 and 4. It's poorly scripted, over directed and doesn't even feel like a Die Hard film. Courtney doesn't come across as a franchise lead in waiting and Willis looks rather bored and jaded by the whole experience. If the rumours are to be believed and a sixth entry is possible, the creators have to sit down and reconnect with why McClane and the original Die Hard struck such a chord with audiences. Die Hard 5 goes for bigger is better and fails spectacularly at every hurdle. Perhaps 'less is more' should be whispered in their ears before they drag Willis, and us, into another depressing sequel that just makes us yearn for the projectionist to stick the original on instead.
GK Rating: ** The Blog of Delights
No comments:
Post a Comment