Big Finish bring writer Philip Martin back to Doctor Who. Martin wrote two of Colin Baker's better stories in the mid 1980s but, as most of his stories were awful, that's not saying much and this audio offering for the Eighth Doctor feels like a rehash of his previous efforts with bodily transformations, slimy aliens and a soft satire of modern business. It's more engaging than previous story Scherzo but still a disappointing listen for fans of Paul McGann's Time Lord.
The Doctor and Charley (India Fisher) continue their journey stranded in the Divergent Universe. Looking for the TARDIS the pair come across the sinister Kro'ka (Stephen Perring), guardian of the crossing between different zones. He's a bit of a sadistic fella and one that seems set to return. The travellers find themselves in a barren land controlled by the insect Kromon. The Kromon have subdued the local population of Eutermesans and the Doctor befriends one, C'rizz, who has escaped one of the Kromon's habitations. Soon the trio are captured and brought into the Kromon colony. C'rizz is assigned manual duties, the Doctor sent to the Research Department and Charley is sent off to be turned into a new Kromon breeding Queen. Can the trio escape with their lives from a nasty insect race modelled on modern business practices?
The Creed of the Kromon feels very much like Martin's previous efforts. All writers have their unique preoccupations and for Martin it's in populating a world that is barbaric and satirical. The Kromon, invaded by a mysterious Company and forced from their lands, have adopted this company's business model and are obsessed with paperwork and protocol. They offer the Doctor his own office, name badge and PA if he helps them gain space travel technology. This is mildly diverting but hardly biting satire. The world has moved on a little since 1985. We also have Martin's fascination with body transformation; in Vengeance on Varos, Peri was turned into a bird and here Charley is turned into a giant slug. As in Varos, all the aliens seem to be dying to foist themselves on her, constantly urging her to take their special fluids on her tongue and swallow (Charley's NOT that type of girl)! Not a lot happens other than the usual escape/recaptured/escape scenario and the cliffhangers are all awful. The Oroog (Brian Cobby), a kind of giant mole, is more fun but all the Kromon are instantly forgettable.
This tales also introduces new companion C'rizz. Designed as a high concept companion who is alien, conflicted and potentially dangerous, he's kind of like Turlough but not half as good. He is also, unfortunately, played by Conrad Westmaas who has already given several wooden turns in Big Finish's plays. His rendition of the part should be edgy and different but he just comes across as a prissy head boy in an amateur dramatics club. His emoting when he has to kill true love L'da (she'd been turned into a giant slug, y'see) is unintentionally hilarious. By the end of the story I'm already comparing him to Adric. The Creed of the Kromon is entirely adequate but follows the alarming trend in the recent Eighth Doctor plays of being vastly inferior to Big Finish's other output.
GK Rating: ** The Blog of Delights
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